No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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