the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
