just come out here and I will go home with you...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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