I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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