Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
