she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
