Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
