it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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