What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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