My nipple is on Facebook.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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