ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I look better un-naked...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
