I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize