In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
