Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
