You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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