I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
