Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
