Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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