she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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