You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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