Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
