yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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