You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
