i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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