The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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