Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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