Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
