she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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