accomplished twins. life is a go
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
