Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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