apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
