Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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