yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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