i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
