And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
As shirtless as possible
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
