I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
