i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
