This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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