in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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