Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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