wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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