Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
