I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
