Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
