I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
