Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
