then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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