I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize