Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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