Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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