you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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