You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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