conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
if only i could text you this smell
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
