Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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