too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
