Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
