I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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